My thoughts on grief...
Today is July 4th, a day when many families in the USA are celebrating independence. For my family, it was a day of mourning and loss. On this day 45 years ago my 3-year-old brother died tragically in a landslide in our backyard. This day impacted our lives in many ways and taught us the meaning of loss and what it is to grieve the death of someone you love. As a trauma-informed coach, I have completed a Grief and Mourning course but most of my knowledge is from first-hand experience. Here is what I know about grief; 1) Grief comes in waves. I once heard someone describe grief as an ocean and I'd say it's a perfect description. Some days the waters are calm and on other days the waves are crashing against the shore and there is no controlling the waters. 2) The topic of death makes people uncomfortable. Many people are uneasy talking about death and dying. They don't know what to say so they avoid the grieving person and say nothing. Grief is a lonely road that is made more painful when people distance themselves. Acknowledge the pain of those who have lost a loved one and hold space for their feelings. 3) There is no timeline for grief. Give yourself all the time you need. This is perhaps the hardest part for grieving families. After the funeral, life goes on for everyone else, but for the family who lost a loved one, they are stuck in time. Reach out during this period because it is often the most difficult. 4) Grief is stored in the body. Your responses to death are not only stored in the mind but in the body as well. You may feel many sensations after the loss of a loved one. Take time to reconnect with your body, allowing your emotions to flow through you. Work on grounding yourself and calming your nervous system. 5) Healing involves acceptance. Healing from the loss of a loved one involves new awareness and acceptance. It is about learning new ways to navigate in the world without them and accepting this new way of being. 6) Honour your loved ones It is so important to talk about and share the stories of your loved ones. In doing so you are keeping their memory alive. My brother painted a picture the day before he died. It still hangs in the foyer at my parent's house. It is a reminder that he is a loved member of our family. 7) Grief looks different for everyone We all process grief differently. This was evident in my own family as each person handled the loss of my brother in their own way. There is no right or wrong way to mourn. If you are grieving I acknowledge you and offer you my condolences. Be gentle with yourself and be sure to give yourself compassion and kindness. With Gratitude, Amy Some additional resources for dealing with grief. https://www.chpca.ca/resource/grief-and-bereavement-resource-repository/ https://whatsyourgrief.com https://mindfulnessandgrief.com *Disclaimer All coaching services and communication, email or otherwise, delivered by Aim True Coaching as well as information set forth are meant to help you identify the areas and beliefs that may be standing in your way. However, coaching is not professional mental health care or medical care. This content is for informational purposes only, and should not be taken as professional medical advice.
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