Overcoming Self-Sabotage
Self-Sabotage is defined by google as behaviors or thought patterns that hold you back and prevent you from doing what you want to do. It is influenced by many things, some of which are not even within our conscious awareness. In order to overcome your limiting beliefs and get out of your way, you need to dig deep within yourself and find what’s preventing you from living your best life.
There are 2 steps to overcoming self-sabotage,
1) AWARENESS
2) ACTION
Use this template to guide your thinking.
AWARENESS
1) Identify the self-sabotage. Awareness is the first step to change, so get to know yourself well.
a) Identify the behaviour. (What do you do?)
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b) Identify the belief. (What do you believe about this behaviour? Be honest with yourself? Do you think it’s acceptable? Do you want to change? Is there a limiting belief associated with this action?)
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2) Describe your self-talk. (Do justify your self-sabotage? Is your self-talk positive or negative? What words or phrases do you tell yourself?)
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3) What influences affect your self-sabotage? You need to use your critical thinking skills here. Our sub-conscious mind picks up every exposure to external stimuli. Think about everything that you are allowing to enter your mind. Explore your media, music, people, books and other influences. Be honest because what you are watching on Netflix or listening to, scrolling online all influence your actions. Look at your external input with a critical lens.
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4) Who are the people associated with your self-sabotage? Describe what you think and feel about these individuals. How do they contribute or influence your behaviour? Most importantly are these relationships serving your highest and best good?
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5) Describe the environment where the self-sabotage occurs? Does it cross over to more than one place? (work, home, social settings). What adjectives would you use to describe the environment? If the environment was a feeling, what would it be, explain it?
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6) Listen to your body as it provides you with clues as to how you are feeling. When you think about why you can’t stop this behaviour where do you feel it in your body? (chest, throat, heart, face). Why do you think you feel it there? Is it significant?
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ACTION
Now that you understand the self-self-sabotage let’s work towards solutions.
1) How can you reframe your self-sabotage? What purpose did it serve?
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2) What are some action steps you can take to change your behaviour? Refer to the above responses, what people, beliefs, influences are affecting your actions, what changes can you make?
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3) What roadblocks to you anticipate? There will always be failures and obstacles on the way to success, that’s ok they help you learn. It makes it easier to overcome these obstacles if you have planned for them in advance. Being prepared will make it easier to handle these setbacks. List the roadblocks and strategies to help you overcome each one.
Roadblocks Strategies
4) How will you hold yourself accountable? Your success will be greater if you include accountability. It can be as simple as telling someone your plans to ensure you follow through or giving yourself a reward once you’ve met a milestone. Design a plan to keep yourself accountability.
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6) Improve your self-talk. Create a mantra or encouraging phrase that will motivate you to succeed and is full of positive energy.
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You have the power within you to create positive changes. Believe in yourself!
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